I’m in love with a real hot human!

Real time data and technology advances have made our business life easier and more productive. Whereas, together with pornography and robotics, they have complicated our sex life. I don’t know if it got to the point where it has ruined our chances in romance, but consumerism has definitely made for itself a nest in both our hearts and bedrooms.

Under the influence, we ask our lovers to be someone else, something that satisfies a need or assuages a hunger – no objections allowed, no questions asked. We forget that they are not sex dolls or slaves. Sometimes, they are not in the mood. Sometimes, they are insecure or shy. Other times, they are preoccupied with something else. And it happens that they can be dog-tired after a long day.

The very fact of us forgetting such things indicates that we no longer perceive our fellow humans as free beings with feelings and imperfections and doubts and free will and rights. How did we get here? I wonder.


In mainstream pornography, sex and women have always been easy, fuss-free, and ready to serve. Seldom does the viewer stop the show to ask the question, “Is this right?” Are all the women in my environment and neighborhood and workplace this way? Is my mother or sister or wife like this? Should the female gender be conveyed in such a manner?

Also, because the porn industry is making our most secret fantasies magically come to life through state-of-the-art innovations such as Virtual Reality, we have come to blame our love partners for being unimaginative, incompetent, lazy, frigid, or indifferent. I think that’s cruel!

Moreover, the way the porn industry evolved to promote real-time sex, amateur sex, social media sex, and TV sex has gotten into our head so deeply that we have come to automatically expect our love partners to be mind-readers. I think that’s conniving from the $97 billion industry! (Please note that this is the published number at the moment.)

Last but not least, lifelike sex dolls are becoming a pillar in our species’ future sex life and a huge untapped potential in the sex industry. Southern California’s Harmony, the first Artificial Intelligence sex robot in the world, made its appearance in late 2017. In early 2018, Solana was born to take the world by storm one more time. This more expensive gal is an improved version of its predecessor. As of late 2018, we could already hear about sex doll brothels popping across Europe and Asia. See how breathtaking is the speed of such inventions?

Besides the many concerns about how all this affects our ability to communicate, bond, and fall in love; and albeit the many concerns about how it alters the way we perceive others and the female gender, the world keeps manufacturing instant sexual gratifications. It tells us, “For a certain amount of money, you could buy love. So why bother with real-life party poopers?” In other words, it’s telling us that people are disposable and easily replaceable. Stated more mildly, it says that if we were to live with a human, it would better be superhuman to win our love, super witty to know what we secretly covet, and most importantly, easy to handle. So, as long as we can program them to our liking, we’re okay, for we are the customer, and the customer is always king!


But it’s partly our fault. We’ve already started to treat the other as a doormat or a sex object well before Artificial Intelligence and Pornography went bullocks. Truth is that our relationships’ viability date has shortened. But that’s the half of it. There’s another truth that says, “Our love partners are feeling the pressure more than any time before, and it’s our duty to be more loving toward them and more proactive on the front line for our own sake.”

The human brain is sensitive to habits, consumption patterns, and flashy trends. For a healthier life, we must become more self-aware because help won’t come from a $97 billion industry. Truth is that we have no power over something this big. Though we cannot control, penalize, or humanize the porn industry, what we are invited to do is train ourselves to become more alert in our everyday life and more respectful to the female gender no matter who she is, where she lives, how she’s dressed, or what she does for a living. The heart of the matter is to fill ourselves with positive energy.

As you can see, we can empower ourselves by seeing the hidden signals and doing damage control. Which will eventually amount to us making others feel valued, appreciated, and irreplaceable. As they feel better, safer, and open up more, we start to see them in a different light. We come to know how precious they are and how sexy they can be under the right circumstances. It’s like falling in love all over again! Remember that feeling?


To regain our lost innocence and bring back happiness, let’s stop having our way the express way and start taking our time with time. The time to discover our partner all over again, this time without burning steps. The time to sit down and talk; talk about our weird likes and definite dislikes, our needs and wants, our dreams and taboos.

To do that, let’s unplug ourselves from the sexual matrix and reconnect with our lover. Work together to find the perfect pace that allows our bond to grow bigger and stronger. He’s rather slow, so stop for a second and enjoy the way he looks or the vibes he exudes. She’s rather fast, so pick up the pace and rejoin the dance to make her sway.

As a treat after a long run, a frantic dance, a hard day at work, or a strenuous day with the kids, let’s go back to the calmness of slow sex. How about we feel every sensation that crosses our body and our partner’s. See every spark in their eyes. Hold their hand and really unite in this gesture. Hear them out and share our feelings in return. Lose ourselves in complete harmony.


The world will not stop evolving. Humans will not stop adapting to new conditions and change. The shift is so big it’s either trapping us inside the eye of the storm or throwing us off. Whether they’re heaven or hell, no one wishes to lose their lover in this hectic life. The faster we admit to ourselves that our romantic partners are our best companions, and the better we take care of one another, the more whole we become. Honestly, who doesn’t wish to feel whole? People have been known to do the impossible to experience such a blessing.


Photo credit: The butcher by Luis Alvarez Marra on Visual hunt / CC BY

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Posted in: Sex with Ethics

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